1
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:08,580
That's my boy, that's my boy

2
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:45,780
Oh, I can see for myself.

3
00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:47,520
Sit down.

4
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,440
Have one of these.

5
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,300
I swear by them.

6
00:00:51,580 --> 00:00:52,630
What are they?

7
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,340
Oh, I couldn't tell you, love. I just
asked for a repeat prescription.

8
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,120
I just want a black coffee.

9
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,660
Now, that's the worst thing you could
have.

10
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:02,859
Here you are.

11
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,660
Two for now and two for later.

12
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,800
How do you like your eggs?

13
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:14,420
Oh, one egg'll be enough.

14
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:17,140
How do you like your fried bread?

15
00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:19,920
I don't eat breakfast, ever.

16
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,560
And certainly not this morning.

17
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:29,320
He went on at you, didn't he, after I'd
gone to bed?

18
00:01:29,321 --> 00:01:30,539
He did a bit.

19
00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:31,760
So you ate the bottle?

20
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,440
Yes. You'd have done better eating him.

21
00:01:34,441 --> 00:01:40,219
What's the matter with the boy? You'd
think he'd be pleased to find I'm his

22
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:41,270
mother.

23
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:43,560
pleased to find he was your son.

24
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,440
Oh, well, that's quite different.

25
00:01:45,580 --> 00:01:48,800
All the trouble I went to getting rid of
him, and here he is again.

26
00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:52,820
I thought I had a baby, not a boomerang.

27
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,210
Where is he?

28
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,160
Now. Well, not tomorrow.

29
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:02,000
He's in the bar, waiting for his cup of
tea.

30
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,730
Right.

31
00:02:24,821 --> 00:02:26,789
No clothes on.

32
00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:29,290
You had no clothes on when I met you
first.

33
00:02:31,590 --> 00:02:32,790
What are you staring at?

34
00:02:33,290 --> 00:02:34,340
Nothing much.

35
00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:37,070
Pass me that bubble bar.

36
00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:38,920
Please.

37
00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,360
Please.

38
00:02:41,210 --> 00:02:42,260
Here you are.

39
00:02:42,590 --> 00:02:44,410
You can get two pee off that.

40
00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,220
You and me's going to have a little
chat. There's a lot to get sorted.

41
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,679
There is indeed.

42
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:02,860
Like when you're going.

43
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:05,560
That's your mother you're speaking to.

44
00:03:05,561 --> 00:03:08,979
I've got a mother, thank you, who
brought me up beautifully.

45
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,360
Pleased to hear it, I'm sure.

46
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,320
So you can get the hell out.

47
00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:13,570
Oh, nice.

48
00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,280
Oh, stop swishing your bubbles.

49
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:21,460
You've got nothing to hide from me, you
know.

50
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,060
What's that scar?

51
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:25,860
Scar? What scar?

52
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,190
There.

53
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:31,780
Catch appendix, then.

54
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:35,920
Go and pack, Mrs. Willis.

55
00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,240
Oh, you know how to wound a person.

56
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,220
All I said was go and pack.

57
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,200
No, it's not. You added Mrs.

58
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,080
Willis. Well, that's your name, isn't
it? Not where you're concerned.

59
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:49,240
Where you're concerned, it's mummy.

60
00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:55,060
Don't you hurt me. And have you know, I
gave you life.

61
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,960
And then you gave me away.

62
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,100
Well, I couldn't keep your love.

63
00:04:00,650 --> 00:04:03,210
You were growing out of the wardrobe
drawer.

64
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,810
You could have bought me a cot.

65
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,789
Secondhand, I wouldn't have minded.

66
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:09,930
I nearly did.

67
00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:14,350
Oh, there was ever such a nice one in
the shop on the corner.

68
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:18,510
It had little beads on a bit of wire and
a bunny rabbit.

69
00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:21,510
Oh, I can see it now.

70
00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:23,490
Well, why didn't you buy it?

71
00:04:23,790 --> 00:04:26,250
It was 25, Bob dear.

72
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,020
And me with two and nine in me purse and
a ladder in me stocking.

73
00:04:31,620 --> 00:04:32,980
You ought to go.

74
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:37,080
You should have drowned me like a
kitten. I couldn't do that.

75
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,360
Your little eyes was open.

76
00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:42,990
How much?

77
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,140
About that much.

78
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,520
How much do you want to get out?

79
00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:50,540
I'm getting out. I've got your egg to
put on.

80
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:54,740
How much will it take to persuade you to
pack your things and go?

81
00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,510
My little Shane talking.

82
00:04:58,370 --> 00:05:04,049
Not my little Shane that used to shake
his rattle at me and scream and scream

83
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:05,100
and scream.

84
00:05:05,101 --> 00:05:09,529
No, it's not your little Shane. You gave
your little Shane away. This is Robert

85
00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:12,270
telling you to get... out.

86
00:05:13,410 --> 00:05:15,410
Then he's wasting his breath, isn't he?

87
00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:18,590
I'll put the red on.

88
00:05:19,090 --> 00:05:20,140
Here.

89
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:22,590
Now, mind you, dry yourself properly.

90
00:05:35,921 --> 00:05:38,009
of your tablet.

91
00:05:38,010 --> 00:05:39,770
That'll put meat on your bones.

92
00:05:40,310 --> 00:05:41,850
Shall I put this in the bin?

93
00:05:42,150 --> 00:05:44,550
Oh, there speaks the affluent society.

94
00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:47,590
Put it in the oven. I'll have it for me
dinner.

95
00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:51,950
What time will you both be in tonight?

96
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:56,209
Well, I'll be back about six, but I
don't know about... Did Robert say you

97
00:05:56,210 --> 00:05:57,260
stay?

98
00:05:57,430 --> 00:05:58,850
Not in so many words.

99
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:00,450
Did he tell you to go?

100
00:06:00,770 --> 00:06:05,650
Let me see. You know, it's funny about
me. I've got this ear and every...

101
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,200
must come and get you, mustn't he? Come
on.

102
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:19,680
Now, before I plan me menus, any
allergies?

103
00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:22,880
Hmm? And you a doctor's wife.

104
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,740
Anything you can't eat? Anything that
brings you out?

105
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,880
I'm not very good about tripe.

106
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,080
Bangos me bordelaise.

107
00:06:32,060 --> 00:06:36,820
And that's it, is it? Just tripe? Well,
Robert doesn't like drained prunes.

108
00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:38,220
Don't remind me.

109
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:41,230
I couldn't look his nappies in the face.

110
00:06:43,690 --> 00:06:44,740
I called you.

111
00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:46,000
She heard you.

112
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:47,520
Have I got a shirt?

113
00:06:47,710 --> 00:06:48,760
Do you mean to wear?

114
00:06:48,890 --> 00:06:50,890
No. I want to boil a Christmas pudding.

115
00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:53,510
That's your wife you're talking to.

116
00:06:53,870 --> 00:06:56,220
Why are you still here? Because I
haven't gone.

117
00:06:56,221 --> 00:07:00,169
Your shirts are in the airing cupboard.
White's on the left, coloured's on the

118
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,490
right. Dinner's at seven and it won't
keep.

119
00:07:02,930 --> 00:07:04,390
I might be here. I might not.

120
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:05,740
I'm on call.

121
00:07:05,741 --> 00:07:07,549
Robert, haven't you got... The clinic at
ten?

122
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:10,650
Oh, hell, yeah. With Mr Ferris. Is he
the one you don't like?

123
00:07:10,651 --> 00:07:12,369
He's the one that doesn't like me.

124
00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,830
Oh, is he? Where is he? I'll sort him
out.

125
00:07:14,831 --> 00:07:17,729
Don't you ever come anywhere near my
hospital.

126
00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:20,630
But suppose I get run down by a taxi?

127
00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:22,550
I'll tip the driver.

128
00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:24,480
Oh,

129
00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:27,950
take no notice, love. It's Walter off a
duck's back to me.

130
00:07:28,250 --> 00:07:29,450
I'll talk to you tonight.

131
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:30,800
Shane?

132
00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:33,330
Don't ever call me Shane. Nice packed
lunch.

133
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:39,670
Thank you.

134
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,020
Oh, I'll soon have him trained.

135
00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:45,720
Now then, love, what's your day?

136
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:48,080
I'm on the serpentine this morning.

137
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,550
Doing what?

138
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:53,600
I think it's for some calendar or other.
I'm supposed to be April in Paris.

139
00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,840
Oh. Oh, well, you'll enjoy your
sandwiches then.

140
00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,860
What are they? Garlic sausage.

141
00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:03,520
Now, you have a nice day.

142
00:08:27,310 --> 00:08:28,360
Ida Willis.

143
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:33,070
Nicely thank you. I won't ask how you
are because it's not my phone, Bill.

144
00:08:34,169 --> 00:08:38,570
But the thing is this. I won't be coming
back so you can let my room go.

145
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:41,429
And will you have my trunk sent round,
please?

146
00:08:42,929 --> 00:08:44,850
Yes. Any messages?

147
00:08:46,990 --> 00:08:48,090
I beg your pardon?

148
00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:50,490
Oh, he hasn't.

149
00:08:51,510 --> 00:08:52,810
Oh, he isn't.

150
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,500
Oh, he wasn't.

151
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,660
Well, he would be.

152
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:01,580
Just as long as you don't let him have
this address.

153
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,580
But you did. I'd know that ring
anywhere.

154
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:11,320
Well, I'll give you a tinkle when me
trunk arrives.

155
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:15,880
Oh, and remember, I know everything
that's in it. Ta -ra.

156
00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:19,220
Oh, well, swing for that woman.

157
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:23,240
Oh, all right, Wilfred, I'm coming,
aren't I?

158
00:09:30,099 --> 00:09:32,560
Wrong. Pleased to see me? Wrong again.

159
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,120
That's no way to greet your baby
brother.

160
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,540
Five minutes, Wilfred, and that's for
too many.

161
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,420
Oh, this way.

162
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,100
I thought you had another six months to
do.

163
00:09:48,101 --> 00:09:49,659
Never heard a good behaviour?

164
00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:50,710
Not from you.

165
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,640
Oh, you haven't lost your sharp tongue,
either.

166
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,120
Nor me long memory.

167
00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:57,710
Very nice.

168
00:09:58,839 --> 00:09:59,889
Very tasteful.

169
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:01,660
I'm going to like coming here.

170
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:05,180
Forget it. This is your first and last
visit.

171
00:10:05,380 --> 00:10:06,430
Oh, they won't mind.

172
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:09,280
Anyway, I'm your family, aren't I? Well,
so are they.

173
00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:11,900
What do you mean, so are they?

174
00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:15,540
Oh, well, I suppose you'll have to know.

175
00:10:16,220 --> 00:10:18,740
You remember when I had my little
trouble?

176
00:10:18,741 --> 00:10:22,019
Well, they ought to. I was the one who
took you to the hospital.

177
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:23,600
Yes, in a stolen car.

178
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,260
And you had your little Shane.

179
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,560
Oh, don't start.

180
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:35,240
I love that kiddie. Look, you see that
scar?

181
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:37,380
That's where he cut his little teeth.

182
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,710
It's where you caught your finger in the
till.

183
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:43,930
Anyway, what about little Shane you gave
him away?

184
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,080
Well, I've got him back now, haven't I?

185
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,780
Oh, he's not here.

186
00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:50,560
Oh, can I see him? Where's his little
cot?

187
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:55,220
Wilfred, he's 27 years old.

188
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,830
Do you want to see his duvet?

189
00:11:00,270 --> 00:11:01,370
Oh, Ida.

190
00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:05,150
Ida, where have all the years gone?

191
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:08,440
Half of them to Pentonville and half of
them to Britain.

192
00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:11,870
You missed out this little man.

193
00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:15,010
Oh, I'm very sorry. I should have kept a
list.

194
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,610
Oh, little Shane, a grown man.

195
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,970
He'd better be. He's got a grown wife.

196
00:11:20,230 --> 00:11:21,930
How did you find him again?

197
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:24,550
Dame Fortune threw us together.

198
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,810
Didn't she keep that second -hand shop
on the corner?

199
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:30,740
It was fate, Wilfred.

200
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,140
Fate. Oh, little Shane.

201
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,120
Oh, he must have been thrilled.

202
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,940
Oh, he was speechless.

203
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,220
There were tears in his eyes. Oh!

204
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,740
Oh, Wilfred, blow your nose and on your
way.

205
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,920
Can't I stay and see little Shane?

206
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,740
Goodbye, Wilfred.

207
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:53,160
I'll come and see you in a week or so.
Not if I see you first.

208
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,770
Ta -da.

209
00:11:56,490 --> 00:11:57,570
Give us a kiss, though.

210
00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:00,970
Show there's no hard feelings.

211
00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:04,250
There are, as a matter of fact, but, oh,
here you are.

212
00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,100
Get off!

213
00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:10,490
Oh, go on!

214
00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:14,330
That's all I needed.

215
00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:17,510
Oh, don't believe it. He wouldn't dare.

216
00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:19,660
Would he?

217
00:12:20,670 --> 00:12:21,720
He would.

218
00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:24,430
Right, Ida, it's now or never.

219
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:59,110
Slip it off. I'll run the iron over in.
No, thank you. It could do with a press.

220
00:12:59,450 --> 00:13:04,430
It happens to be drip -dry. All right,
then. Sit there and drip.

221
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:10,150
That'll probably catch pneumonia. I
doubt that, Mrs Price.

222
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:12,470
But what if you do? Your son's a doctor.

223
00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,930
Well, our son.

224
00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:18,270
Why did you do it, Mrs Willis?

225
00:13:18,810 --> 00:13:22,790
Oh, it's all so long ago. A warm
summer's evening.

226
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,170
Gin and apes.

227
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,860
Out of the wind, behind the bandstand.

228
00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:35,900
I mean, why did you throw water in my
face?

229
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:41,680
Oh, um, I thought I saw smoke coming out
of your ass.

230
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:44,740
Milk or lemon?

231
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,160
Mrs. Willis, Mrs.

232
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,460
Price, I can't pretend to be pleased to
see you.

233
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:53,990
Well, I don't know why not. I'm
pretending to be pleased to see you.

234
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,360
It's only manners, isn't it?

235
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:59,760
You gave me your solemn word you would
stay away from my son.

236
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:06,179
My son advertised for me. He advertised
for a housekeeper. Not a mother. He's

237
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:06,859
got a mother.

238
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:10,740
And he's got a wife. So that's both our
noses out of joint.

239
00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:13,940
Oh, isn't she a lovely girl, though?

240
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:16,080
Sweet, but very young.

241
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,610
She'll age.

242
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,450
You did.

243
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,150
She can't sew. She can't clean.

244
00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:28,210
Could you when you were married?

245
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:29,850
I didn't have to.

246
00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:32,990
She doesn't have to. She earns enough to
pay me.

247
00:14:33,450 --> 00:14:34,500
Fairy cake?

248
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,200
This is ridiculous.

249
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:41,910
You're not wanted here, Mrs Willis. I
don't want you. Robert doesn't want you.

250
00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:43,180
Oh,

251
00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:44,540
in the lounge, dear.

252
00:14:44,910 --> 00:14:46,330
My daughter -in -law.

253
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:48,570
And mine.

254
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:50,280
Oh.

255
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:52,190
Hello, mothers.

256
00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:01,070
I'll tell you before she does.

257
00:15:01,790 --> 00:15:04,770
I threw a jug of water over her. Did
you?

258
00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:06,390
I mean, why?

259
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:09,950
She saw smoke coming out of my hat.

260
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:15,010
Could you retreat just a little, dear?
You know how I am about garlic.

261
00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:18,710
Nice sandwiches, love.

262
00:15:18,711 --> 00:15:20,949
Super, thanks. I shared them with the
girl.

263
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:24,450
Oh, bless your little heart. I'll make
extra tomorrow.

264
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:29,319
I'm afraid you won't be here tomorrow,
Mrs. Willis. Oh, asking me over to your

265
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,370
place for the day?

266
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:36,219
I shall speak to Robert this evening,
Angela. I think we can sort this out for

267
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:39,620
ourselves, actually. I think you're
forgetting I'm his mother.

268
00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:41,780
And I think you're forgetting so am I.

269
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,760
I think you're both forgetting I'm his
wife.

270
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,280
Now see what you've done.

271
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:52,880
I shall ring my son this evening, and I
hope we never meet again.

272
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,360
Goodbye, Mrs. Willis.

273
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:55,980
Au revoir, Mrs Price.

274
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,560
That's French for up yours.

275
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,150
Ooh,

276
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,740
I bet she can't wait to get on that
telephone.

277
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,820
You enjoyed that, didn't you?

278
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,050
It was all right.

279
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,860
It wasn't a frozen dinner, you know. It
was proper food.

280
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,120
They were real carrots.

281
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,640
The thought you peel.

282
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,840
You're trying too hard, Angie.

283
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,400
Sorry. She cleaned the cutlery, too.

284
00:16:45,401 --> 00:16:46,519
Did she?

285
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,620
And the windows.

286
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:51,180
And she polished the furniture. She's
done everything.

287
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:52,710
Everything? Yes.

288
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:55,079
She might as well go, then, mightn't
she?

289
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:59,459
You never change your mind about
anything, do you? I'm not changing my

290
00:16:59,460 --> 00:17:00,510
about her.

291
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:01,800
Now, who's that?

292
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,340
The woman you love to hate.

293
00:17:06,420 --> 00:17:08,760
Excuse me. Are we ready for our coffee?

294
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,358
I think so, aren't we, Robert?

295
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:11,409
I suppose so.

296
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,720
I'll have mine over there.

297
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:19,859
He'll have it wherever I... You'll have
yours wherever you want to, Doctor,

298
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:21,900
dear. I'll bring it in.

299
00:17:21,901 --> 00:17:26,568
If that woman stays, it'll be the end of
our marriage.

300
00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:28,830
You realise that, don't you? I don't see
why.

301
00:17:28,831 --> 00:17:32,809
Well, in the first place, and the last
place, come to think of it, what about

302
00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:33,860
our sex life?

303
00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:35,710
Hmm, it's lovely.

304
00:17:36,830 --> 00:17:37,880
You mean it was?

305
00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:39,180
It's over, you know.

306
00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:40,430
Finished. Oh?

307
00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:42,250
You don't sound very upset.

308
00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:44,760
Well, it's only been over since last
night.

309
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:47,990
Why is it over?

310
00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:53,150
Because... Because she'll be on the
other side of the wall, listening.

311
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:56,030
How do you know she's listening?

312
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:57,140
Well, mothers do.

313
00:17:57,590 --> 00:17:59,030
There's always the bathroom.

314
00:17:59,450 --> 00:18:00,500
What for?

315
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:02,850
Emergencies. Oh, great.

316
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:05,250
You look lovely tonight, darling.

317
00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:07,210
I'll meet you by the sink at six.

318
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:10,569
Any minute now, we're going to have a
row.

319
00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:12,490
Where? Try the sink at six.

320
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,870
Right, that does it. I'm telling her to
go.

321
00:18:15,150 --> 00:18:16,200
Here we are.

322
00:18:16,370 --> 00:18:20,550
Will you pour out, love? I just want to
slip and get something.

323
00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:21,609
Just a minute.

324
00:18:21,610 --> 00:18:22,670
Yes, Doctor, dear?

325
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,760
Um... Well?

326
00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:29,680
Uh... Is he trying to say something?

327
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:34,880
Yes, he is. He's trying to say thank you
for his lovely dinner.

328
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:37,180
Oh, were you, dear?

329
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,510
Uh, yes.

330
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:39,910
Then do.

331
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,840
Thank you for my lovely dinner.

332
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,230
My pleasure.

333
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:48,560
Well, I'm off to bed now. Just leave
everything.

334
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,600
I'll do it first thing in the morning.

335
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:51,670
Night -night.

336
00:18:51,671 --> 00:18:55,879
You're going to bed rather early, aren't
you? Oh, well, you two want to be alone

337
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,600
together. I'll be perfectly happy with
me crossword.

338
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,260
I forgot I don't do crossword.

339
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,710
How long has that phone been off the
hook?

340
00:19:05,420 --> 00:19:09,939
Oh, I must have just knocked it off when
I picked up the paper. It's easily

341
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:10,839
done, Robert.

342
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,819
No, well, luckily, it's easily put back.

343
00:19:12,820 --> 00:19:15,220
Oh, leave it off. Have a quiet evening.

344
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:17,399
Someone might be trying to get through.

345
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,720
At this time of night?

346
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,520
Yeah, at this time of night.

347
00:19:22,570 --> 00:19:23,620
It'll be for me.

348
00:19:24,910 --> 00:19:27,470
At this time of night? I'm sure it's for
me.

349
00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:28,900
Hello?

350
00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:30,040
Wrong number.

351
00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:32,360
It was for me.

352
00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:34,240
What's going on?

353
00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:36,960
Nothing. Why doesn't she want me to
answer the phone?

354
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,090
It's not that I don't want you to answer
the phone.

355
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:44,250
It's just that if it rings, I don't want
you to answer the phone.

356
00:19:44,790 --> 00:19:45,840
Oh!

357
00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:47,200
Hello?

358
00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:48,420
Ah, hello, Mother.

359
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,569
You knew my mother was going to ring,
didn't you?

360
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:55,160
Well... That's why you took the phone
off the hook. Only by accident.

361
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,000
I'll talk to you in a minute.

362
00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:59,060
I'm sorry, what was that, Mother?

363
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,220
She did what?

364
00:20:02,580 --> 00:20:03,630
I'll go and pack.

365
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,900
What am I going to do without you?

366
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:07,760
Oh, no, it's Starbill.

367
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,050
Now, just a minute. Just a minute,
Mother.

368
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,620
Was there smoke coming from your hat?

369
00:20:13,621 --> 00:20:17,629
Well, perhaps she thought you were
someone else. I did.

370
00:20:17,630 --> 00:20:19,620
I did. I thought it was the clean easy
man.

371
00:20:19,750 --> 00:20:24,289
Ah. Ah, there you are, you see. She
thought you were the clean... She

372
00:20:24,290 --> 00:20:25,370
you were someone else.

373
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:27,930
Well, it's not that easy, Mother.

374
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:30,130
I mean, she is my mother, Mother.

375
00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:34,280
Only because I'd grown too big for the
wardrobe drawer.

376
00:20:34,281 --> 00:20:38,189
With two and nine in her purse and a
ladder in her stocking. And there was

377
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:39,240
behind with the rent.

378
00:20:39,330 --> 00:20:41,070
She was behind with the rent as well.

379
00:20:41,071 --> 00:20:44,029
Well, I don't expect she had any family.

380
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:45,590
I didn't. I didn't. I was an orphan.

381
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:46,880
I still am.

382
00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:50,430
Now, you're wrong there.

383
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,010
She's a wonderful worker.

384
00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:53,810
She's cleaned the window.

385
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:57,690
Inside and out. Inside and out. And
she's done the silver.

386
00:20:58,370 --> 00:20:59,610
And I've got a shirt on.

387
00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:01,310
Clean on this morning.

388
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:06,450
Of course, I don't love her like I love
you.

389
00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:10,350
Yes, I remember when I had whooping
cough.

390
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:14,389
I should have been told about that. I
should have been notified. That's a

391
00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:15,440
notifiable disease.

392
00:21:15,950 --> 00:21:18,210
Yes, you were, Mother. You were very
kind.

393
00:21:18,620 --> 00:21:20,910
So would I have been. But so would she
have been.

394
00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:24,290
Now, look, I haven't got whooping cough
now, you know.

395
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,350
No, thanks to her.

396
00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:28,340
She let him catch appendix. Did you know
that?

397
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,300
She didn't. She did.

398
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,060
There's never known a mother's love.

399
00:21:35,180 --> 00:21:36,800
No, I'm not going to get rid of her.

400
00:21:36,801 --> 00:21:41,019
As a matter of fact, it's not the first
thing you've ever asked me to do.

401
00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:43,010
I gave up being a fireman because of
you.

402
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,250
And an engine driver.

403
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,340
Now, look, Mother, you don't know her.

404
00:21:47,341 --> 00:21:48,469
Give her a chance.

405
00:21:48,470 --> 00:21:51,810
Well, I'm going to. Oh, he's so like me
in his ways.

406
00:21:53,130 --> 00:21:55,050
Yes, of course. I'll phone you tomorrow.

407
00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:58,270
Oh, what are your symptoms?

408
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,530
Does she still live at Muswell Hill?

409
00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:02,830
She's got a flat round the corner.

410
00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:05,190
Oh, you poor girl.

411
00:22:05,410 --> 00:22:07,270
Mother shouldn't live too close.

412
00:22:09,390 --> 00:22:10,440
Well, I don't know.

413
00:22:10,590 --> 00:22:11,910
Take a couple of aspirin.

414
00:22:12,270 --> 00:22:13,320
Good night, Mother.

415
00:22:14,970 --> 00:22:16,020
Promise me...

416
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,300
One thing. Anything.

417
00:22:17,780 --> 00:22:20,010
You'll never throw water at my mother
again.

418
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,640
Cross me heart and hope to die.

419
00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:25,860
Did you mean it, Robert? Can she really
stay?

420
00:22:26,140 --> 00:22:27,520
Is that what I said?

421
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,000
Yes. Then, yes.

422
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,420
Shane! On one condition.

423
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,460
You'll never call me Shane again.

424
00:22:34,740 --> 00:22:35,790
Sorry, Doctor.

425
00:22:36,020 --> 00:22:37,280
You could call him Robert.

426
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:39,550
No, she couldn't. He's right, I
couldn't.

427
00:22:40,940 --> 00:22:44,560
Oh, it's so wonderful to have someone of
my own at last.

428
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,300
I've been alone for so long.

429
00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:49,960
It must be awful being an orphan.

430
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:51,420
You have no idea.

431
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,520
You see, you're so alone.

432
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:56,920
You've no one to turn to.

433
00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,380
It's another wrong number. I'll go.

434
00:23:00,860 --> 00:23:02,440
Finish your brandy. I'll go.

435
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,020
I do live here, you know.

436
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,960
Who on earth can that be?

437
00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:08,600
I can't imagine.

438
00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:10,640
But brace yourself.

439
00:23:11,620 --> 00:23:12,670
Yes?

440
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:15,690
For old time's sake.

441
00:23:16,100 --> 00:23:19,650
Have you come from casualty? No, he's
come from the Duke of Wellington.

442
00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:22,400
Is this man a friend of yours?

443
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,360
Oh, I don't tell him who I am. Oh, don't
tell me.

444
00:23:26,580 --> 00:23:28,720
Don't tell me. He's my father.

445
00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:31,280
No, he is not.

446
00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:32,590
Thank God.

447
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,180
Your father had a centre party.

448
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,080
Who's this, then? He's got a nice face.

449
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,280
Well, I suppose you'll have to know.

450
00:23:42,060 --> 00:23:43,700
He's your Uncle Wilfred.

451
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,860
turned out of his mind.

452
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,980
Climb upon my knee, little Jane.

453
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,180
There's only one way to do it.

454
00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:55,780
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